My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
sarcasm needs its own font
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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