SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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