I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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