I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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