Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize