This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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