well you can't waste a boner
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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