Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
smell my finger.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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