That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
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