Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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