Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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