Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize