Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize