we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
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So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
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Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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