you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
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guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Let's get the cat blown out
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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