I love black thongs
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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