jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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