OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
the liver wants what the liver wants
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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