Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick has a subreddit
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize