I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize