Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
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Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
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I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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