and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
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I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
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Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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