So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
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Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
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