who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
he fucked my hip out of place.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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