I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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