she was so not down for the gang bang
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
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