anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize