She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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