WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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