I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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