She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize