So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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