Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize