You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize