I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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