i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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