he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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