I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize