Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come see our sink grown plant.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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