i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
so let's talk penis.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
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I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
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We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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