I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize