someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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