it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize