dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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