Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize