i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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