How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Found your dick twin last night
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize