It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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