Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
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at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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