I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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